Winter
December 7th 2025
Well, it's december. This fucking month man. A bit of backstory, I've never had a good december. Being a practicing pagan with an [insert shitty religon here] ptsd trigger and a shitty estranged family makes for a less than fun time. It seems noone, not even "polite" strangers can respect my boundaries this time of year. I've decided the best course of action is to isolate until it's over.
This has been working pretty well so far as I just went through a breakup, fell face first out of a manic episode, and got diagnosed with chronic anemia. I don't feel like socializing anyway.
I know I should be getting out more and I have made some of an effort, even if it's only between the hours of 5pm - 4am and I avoid humans like the plague. I've been going on peaceful nightwalks, dancing at the goth and kink club, and volunteering at the SPCA. I've been a volunteer there for just about two years now as I try to become a biologist/animal rehabilitator. The last place back in Prince George (where I lived for a few years until march) was bigger with dogs whcih I miss. This place is pretty small and only has cats and sometimes bunnies and guinea pigs, but it's homey. I plan to work with a bigger shelter again eventually.
Anyway, they invited me to a potluck (my first ever) which I'm equally excited and terrified for. I'm an okay cook but the dish I'm making i've never done before so that's a definite source of stress. Hopefully, I won't make a complete fool of myself.
It's probably a good idea to go and socialize with them though. Like I said, I havent been leaving the house much and being drunk with a bunch of goths isn't really the same.
Actually, I think that could be a funny blogpost story. Okay, so, last night I went to this newer club. I've been to that specific one once before and it's smaller than the more popular club, but plays better music IMO. I met up with some club friends, had a couple drinks, and shared a joint. At some point I went to the bathroom to check my hair and stuff and saw this cute queer in the mirror next to me.
He was wearing a labrynth of black leather over a fishnet top. I immediatley felt a bit self-concious of my own outfit, which was some leather pants and my signature black velvet blouse I usually wear to club nights. But, I decided to ignore that and compliment them. They were luckily flattered and not annoyed, and complimented me back. After that we both returned to the dance floor and I expected to lose them in the crowd as usual, but turns out, they were dating one of my club friends! I was a bit dissapointed since I did find them cute, but ultimatley happy for them. I was a bit suprised to see that specific friend with them too.
He's kind of a classic nerd-skid hybrid. If you don't know what a skid is, it's the canadian term that I honestly have a hard time describing. We're usually lower class metal heads if that makes sense. I'm sure some people use the term as an insult, but for me it's always been more of a community label we use playfully, reclaiming everything we are "supposed" to be ashamed of. If it isn't obvious, I grew up a skid and would still consider myself one.
Anyway, this guy is the classic nerd with a rough shell due to growing up that way. Yeah he's into anime but he'll also kick your ass if you talk shit and listens to thrash metal. He also read as closted to me, but maybe he was just new to being outwardly queer. Either way, these two were opposites, yet made complete sense? To me it seemed like they found common ground in being chaotic outcasts.
By the end of the night, around 2am, we were all outside chatting. Nerd-skid/p, his brother who I'd actually met first and affectionatley call Crow-man, and I headed to their car. We sped through the fog-filled city blasting a mix of darkwave and classical. Eventually we stopped at a pizza place and devoured a large pizza. It was so good my mouth is watering just thinking of it. Afterward we got some coffee and sweets and sat in the car for awhile. Then Crow-man tried driving away. Unfortunately, we'd drained the car battery.
The silence was tense. Luckily Crow-man is the exact type of person you'd want to be stuck in this situation with: A mechanic who doesnt easily cave to stress. He immidiatly popped the hood and tried to figure out a solution. Meanwhile I sat in the car with Nerd-skid/p talking about his relationship anxieties. I didn't mind but when you're already a little stressed it's not the best conversation topic.
It took 45ish minutes of using a stranger's jumper cables, calling a nearby friend, and manic tinkering to get it started again. For a minute there we were thinking of paying way too much for an uber so we were incredibly relieved.
He drove me home, split a giant apple strudel with his bare hands to give me half, and we bid our goodbyes. I then slept for twelve hours and woke up with a killer headache. It was a pretty fun night.
This was supposed to be about winter, whoops. I guess the only other things I can mention about winter is that I miss the snow up north (actual shocker), I'm hibernating, and I need more hoodies.